📸

Detlef’s irritation at being disturbed just after nine-thirty in the morning increased a notch when his brother shouted something about a delivery for which he had to sign. Striding downstairs, Detlef prepared to remonstrate with the postman for having got the wrong address. ‘Come on,’ said his brother impatiently, shivering a little in the draught as Detlef made his way down the hall.

‘That vehicle is illegally parked,’ thought Detlef with his characteristic eye for precision when he saw a black van on the street outside. Standing in front of it was a postwoman. She was dressed in a uniform that Detlef could only describe as ceremonial. Her tie had a small, tightly drawn knot, while on her head she wore a stiff peaked cap. She looked very earnest.

The postwoman almost bowed as she presented Detlef with an A4 envelope in one hand and a pen in the other. As he reached out for the pen, she stepped back theatrically. ‘What the hell is going on . . .?’ But before Detlef could finish the thought, four men had jumped on him and he was lying on the ground with his arms behind his back. ‘You’re under arrest,’ one of them screamed, while from nowhere several other officers streamed into the house. Detlef just lay there, dressed only in pyjama bottoms. It was raining and it was cold, about ten degrees Celsius. A boot clamped his neck to the icy ground, while the cable binding his hands dug into his skin. Repeatedly he mumbled, ‘What on earth is going on here?’ while feeling as if he had stumbled onto the set of a second-rate movie.

Ten minutes later he sat opposite Officer Frank Eissmann from Baden-Württemberg’s LKA. The officer was staring gloomily at the detritus in the kitchen, the epicentre of teenage chaos. ‘God, this place is a bloody mess,’ the detective observed.

By way of explanation, Detlef said that his parents were on holiday. ‘I can see that,’ Eissmann muttered to himself.

Then for a few minutes the policeman and his charge fell silent. The only noise came from Detlef’s chattering teeth. The front door had been left open and, following his short sojourn in the rain, his body temperature was falling. An urgent shout came from upstairs: ‘The computers are still running!’

Finally it dawned on Detlef what was happening. Despite the cold and confusion, he thought quickly and asked the officer if he could put some clothes on. It was not entirely disingenuous – he was freezing

📸